How To: Start a Jar of Chocolate Spread*
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Find jar, untwist lid, set lid to side
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Check shiny gold seal (should glint with pride)
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Fetch spoon (small fine, but big makes more sense)
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Shake out your hands (best not to be tense)
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Pick up spoon, raise high, plunge through seal
(It’s fine at this point to release a small squeal)
6. Hold jar tight and really wiggle that spoon
(For best results don’t remove spoon too soon)
7. Take a moment to discover how this makes you feel
(As there’s no better way to start any meal,
You should feel joy, delight, some anticipation
As you prepare for a chocolate sensation)
8. Pull spoon back through seal, go slow, take care
9. It’s likely there’ll be chocolate spread everywhere
Then open mouth wide and push spoon in whole
Feel the sugary rush warm up your soul
10. Eat spread (I would hope that this step was clear)
When done, you will find that you grin ear from ear
11. Nothing will match the very first taste
But as it’s a shame to see good food go to waste
Find a fresh spoon and repeat from step three
Just please, save a couple of spoonfuls for me!
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*To add the joy of discovery to your every day
Further food products may be started this way,
Peanut butter works well (any brand that you please)
Or try stabbing the seal of a tub of cream cheese.
Published in Paperbound